Goals Give Us Direction – 8

Posted on January 10, 2012 by Susan

Question #8: What problems would you like to see solved?

You can answer it literally. If you are having emotional or financial problems. You would write clearly. I would like to be financially stable. Steps to be taken. I will itemize all my bills and when they are due. I will write list of incoming money,etc. I will keep daily list of monies spent. I will make a schedule of bills to address first in priority. I will contact financial advisor if needed.

If you think more globally. I would like the environment to be greener. Steps to be taken. I will investigate policies on GREEN and what group or function I would like to be involved in. I will contact this group within a month. I will begin to practice how to be more green.

And so on…..

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Goals Give Us Direction – 7

Posted on January 9, 2012 by Susan

Question #7: Where would you like to go?

This can be answered quite literally. If you would like to go on a vacation. If you would like to visit family in another state. If you would like to attend a sporting event or concert.

I would like to go on a cruise. Steps to be taken: I will contact local travel agent to find out specials. I will look on-line to find the best deal. I will ask friends and family if they went on a cruise and their experience. I will determine best time and book the cruise.

I would like to go a Bruce Springsteen concert. Steps to be taken: I will find out on-line when he is in concert. I will look at my schedule to find out best time. I will save $$$ if necessary to attend concert.

This is a pretty simple goal. The difficulty may be in being able to afford the trip and/or fitting it in your schedule. The most important thing is that you are planning something that you want to do and if it doesn’t happen this year you know that next year it will or is a possibility anyway.

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Goals Give Us Direction – 6

Posted on January 6, 2012 by Susan

Question # 6:What would you like to have happen in your friendship, family, love and work?

I break each one down. For example: Friendship; The goal would be I would like to spend more time with my friends. The steps I could take would be: I will call my friends once a week. I will make plans with my friends at least once a month. I will plan a day trip with my friend.

Family: If you have more than one family member, I normally set a goal for each one.

For example: I want to be closer to my brother. The steps I could take would be: I will call him at least once a week. I will tell him how I feel about our relationship. I will send him an email if I can not call him. I will make plans with him at least once a month.

Love: I want to be more honest with my partner about my feelings. The steps to be taken could be: I will write down what issues I am having with my partner. I will share these feelings with my partner at least once a week. I will spend more intimate time with my partner.

Work: I want to make more money. The steps to be taken could be: I will ask my boss for a raise. I will find out if there are any higher positions. I will research what steps I need to take for career advancement. I will talk to employers for possible overtime and job openings.

The more specific you can be about what you would like the better able to identify the steps to achieve these goals which makes them realistic and attainable thus setting up SUCCESS.

Posted in the category Family Issues, Goal-Setting, Relationships Tagged , , |

Goals Give Us Direction – 5

Posted on January 5, 2012 by Susan

Question #5: What blocks or character defects would you like to be removed?

Blocks can be defined as fears, insecurities, virtues and beliefs. Character defects can be defined as impatience, judgmental, critical, perfectionism, controlling, being hard on yourself. Block and/or character defects are those things about yourself that you do not like that create problems for you in your daily interactions with others.

If you choose Impatience. The goal would be: I will learn patience. The steps to be taken could be: I will write down those things that create feelings of impatience. I will exercise 3-4 times a week to reduce stress. I will breathe slowly. I will stop what I am doing to not react.

If you choose Critical. The goal could be: I will learn to be kinder to myself and others. The steps to be taken could be: I will practice gratitude. I will pray for acceptance. I will think before I speak.

These require some deeper introspection and creativity in resolution.

Posted in the category Coping Skills, Goal-Setting, Self-Care Tagged , , , , , , , |

Goals Give Us Direction – 4

Posted on January 5, 2012 by Susan

Question #4: What particular areas of growth would you like to have happen to you?

This question requires some personal introspection on your part. You can actually break this question into Personal, Social, Emotional, Familial, Psychological, Mental, Spiritual, ETC. So do you think you are growing emotionally or do you tend to be impulsive, immature and reactive in your responses. So your goal would be Emotional: I would like to learn how to better express my feelings. What steps are necessary to attain that goal. I will identify and list problem areas that I have with my emotions. I will ask others for their feedback. I will develop a list of what I can do differently in a more mature and appropriate manner.

If your goal is to grow Spiritually: I would like to know how to become more spiritual. The steps I can take could be. I will define what spirituality is for me. I will ask others what it means to be spiritual or religious. I will research other religions and nationalities. I will read a book on spirituality.

So you can see where I am going. There are so many different ways we can look at ourselves and our life and what we would like to be different for us this year that needs resolution.

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Goals Give Us Direction – 3

Posted on January 4, 2012 by Susan

The third question is: What good would you like to attract in your life?

This question requires some thought because it is not normally something you would ask yourself and what exactly does it mean? Good can be defined as peace, calm, closer relationships with others, new friends, new job, better health. First define what is peace to you. So what steps do you take to attract peace in your life? I will learn how to manage my feelings. I will practice patience with myself and others. I will journal. I will meditate. I will ask others for help.

How do you attract new friends? I will define what it means to be a friend. I will take an honest inventory of myself and how I am as a friend. I will network with groups of people who I identify with, i.e.; If you like to read, go to Borders.

You can change any negative into a positive. Instead of focusing on what good is not in your life because of life’s difficulties or your own negative thinking, Focus on how to attract the good you want in your life.

Posted in the category Family Issues, Feelings, Goal-Setting, Relationships, Self-Care Tagged , , , , , |

Goals Give Us Direction – 2

Posted on January 3, 2012 by Susan

Second Question: What would you like to do, to accomplish?

If your answer is I would like to go on a vacation. What steps are necessary to do that. I will review my finances. I will explore where I would like to go. I will explore best rates,etc. I will begin to save $$$$ in the amount of ______ to make it happen.

If your answer is to accomplish saving money. What steps are necessary to do that. I will open up a savings account. I will make a list of money coming in and bills that are due including gas and food. I will keep a daily journal of what I spend money on. I will begin to save $10 a week until I get a handle on finances.

It is important to think outside of the box.

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Goals give us direction – 1

Posted on January 2, 2012 by Susan

The first question of 12: What would you like to have happen in your life this year?

It could be anything and remember it needs to be written in a positive way.

For example if you want to lose weight. You could write I would like to feel more confident in my appearance. The next step is how can you achieve this goal. Remember to write in positive. I will eat three well-balanced meals. I will exercise at least 3 days a week. I will write affirmations about myself. I will eat when I am hungry. I will wear clothing that makes me feel good about myself.

Second example: To get married. Your statement/goal could be I would like to meet someone whom I want to spend the rest of my life. The steps you could take. I will explore on-line dating services. I will go out on blind dates. I will socialize in areas that I could meet someone. I will look at my past relationships and see if there are any patterns. If you are in a long-term relationship and wondering if and when this will happen. You could write I will explore further our commitment as a couple. Steps to be taken could be I will talk to my partner about his plans for us. We will discuss what changes need to made in our relationship to foster marriage. I will set a deadline for change so that I can make a decision about my commitment to stay in this relationship if marriage is not in this year’s future.

These are just some ideas…..

Posted in the category Feelings, Goal-Setting, Relationships, Self-Care Tagged , , , , , |

Is counseling for me?

Posted on December 28, 2011 by Susan
  • Do you wish that you could be more assertive with your family, friends and
    coworkers?
  • Are you struggling with feelings of low self-worth?
  • Do you wish that your life could be different?
  • Have you been trying to quit drugs and alcohol and are unsuccessful?
  • Do your friends or family say that you need to talk to someone?
  • Do you question the choices and decisions that you make in your life?
  • Are you unhappy with your living situation?
  • Do you wish you had a different job?
  • Are you feeling lost, frustrated and insecure in your personal relationships?
  • Does your partner have a drug or alcohol problem that creates stress for you?
  • Does your adolescent child seem more withdrawn and angry and unhappy?
  • Do you want more out of your life but don’t know where to begin?
Posted in the category Alcohol and Drugs, Career Coaching, Counseling, Feelings, Relationships, Self-Care Tagged , , , , , , , |

Surviving the Holidays!!

Posted on December 27, 2011 by Susan

Now that the holidays are winding down for us.   We can take some time to just relax.  Some of us still will be seeing friends and family over the next week but that doesn’t mean that we can not take advantage of not running around to meet the “demands” of the holidays persay.   I find that the days after Christmas is over we can experience some holiday blues.  This can be quite normal because of the expectations associated with this holiday and seeing family and friends and now it is over.  It can feel like a let down.   What is important is to hold onto any happy moments or memories that you have about the holidays.  The rest of the stuff that seemed sad or disappointing or “toxic”  we need to just let go of it and practice gratitude for the blessings we had over the holidays and the ones we have now.  Take time to sleep in alittle bit longer, eat a balanced meal (in case you overate), take a long overdue nap, go for a walk, sit in silence, pray and be content with you and what you have in your life at this moment.

Posted in the category Balance, Feelings, Relationships, Self-Care Tagged , , , , , |