Posted by Susan V. Brewer in Balance, Coping Skills, Feelings, Relationships 08 Jan 2011

Most people do not like this word because it implies conflict, argument, disagreement, quarrel or a war of words. It makes one uncomfortable knowing that they will have to “deal with” someone or “face up to” some situation. We worry about how the other person may respond to our addressing them with our concern or expressing how we felt about a situation. We may feel fearful to tell them what their role was in it and how we would want to rectify the situation. A fair amount of people do not like conflict and when they have to “confront” their fears, most will avoid the conflict and confrontation all together because it is much easier to let it go and move on than it would be to take care of themselves.

Having to confront someone is never easy. You need to decide what you have to gain from facing the conflict and if it is truly in yours and their best interest to do so. Every situation is different. It depends on the relationship and what value you place on it. I have found that most people who do not deal with conflict often feel victimized and place blame upon others for why their life is “unhappy” or “unmanageable” or whatever. The sooner you stand up for yourself and ask for what you need or if you feel you have been wronged, the better off you will be. Start with small conflicts where there is minimal investment in the relationship. Sooner or later you are going to have to deal with the confrontation you have been putting off because the reality is “You Are Already In Conflict”.

Susan V. Brewer

Susan V. Brewer is a Certified Life Coach and Psychotherapist in the Upper Bucks County Area.  She graduated in 1987 from Kutztown University with a BS in Criminal Justice and Sociology. She became a Certified Life & Career Coach in June of 2006 and a Certified Relationship Coach in December of 2016. She specializes in adoption, codependency, relationship issues, substance abuse, self-esteem and life transitions. Her belief is “that all persons are truly greater than they think they are.”

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