I find that being honest for some people is very difficult. I do not believe that most people lie intentionally. I believe that sometimes they are so fearful of the outcome or hurting someone’s feelings that their impulse is to lie. Once they lie they find it hard to get honest. Being honest requires a vulnerability for some people. What if they are not forgiven for their lie? What if they lose all trust with others? They often wonder how they can make up for their lies. The problem for compulsive liars is that it becomes so habitual and natural for them that sometimes they do not even know the truth. They are so caught up in the lies that they do not even know where to begin. It takes a lot of courage for them to ask for forgiveness. Sometimes it is not worth the risk. They feel that they will have to work harder at regaining trust that it will never be enough.
I try to encourage my clients to be honest with those that they trust and if they do lie about something as soon as possible get honest whether it is in person or in writing. They will actually gain trust quicker by making the amend rather than waiting until they get caught….. It can be difficult to be in a relationship with someone who is dishonest. You just need to make a decision about whether or not the confrontation will help or improve the situation or not make a difference at all. It tends to be a very personal decision. The reality is the more honest you are about your thoughts and feelings the less stress you feel in your life and the more comfortable you are to be yourself.