“How do I change?”

IMG_1597 (002)

“How do I change?”

Posted by Susan V. Brewer in Alcohol and Drugs, Anxiety, Balance, Coaching, Codependency, Control, Coping Skills, Fear, Feelings, Goal-Setting, Gratitude, Recovery, Relationships, Self-Care, Spirituality 27 Feb 2019

This question comes up quite a lot. Change is not easy. It requires a commitment. Which for some can be short term or long term depending upon what it is that we want to change. It requires an openness and a willingness to look within ourselves. Which is not always easy. We often put so much pressure on ourselves to have to be a certain way or to do things to please others that we forget to ask ourselves is this want we want.
Hence why this question comes up. First it is important to identify why you want to change? For yourself or for others? Both are good options. Most of us want to change to better our life and our relationships with others or how we interact with others in general and of course to feel better about ourselves. Changing for others is beneficial if it is what you value and believe in and truly believe it is for the best interest YOU and of everyone involved. Change may require compromise which is not always easy.
Change pushes us to do some soul searching. Some people are completing unaware of how they are and that they can be very selfish with their needs. So, for them change may be more difficult because they never looked themselves that way. Our perceptions can be in conflict which inhibits change. We can only see and experience things in our life through “our” eyes. Which is why it can be so great when someone opens “our” eyes and helps us see that things can be different or better for us.
This is why I love what I do… when I have a new client and we talk about the things they want to change and why and what now and when I share a perspective on the possibility about why they may be struggling with change…They get this AHA moment and say “Wow I have never looked at it that way!” or “I didn’t know that that experience in my life could be impacting why I can’t change or I am so stuck!”
Then I ask questions like above about the Who, What and Why? Because once you can identify those questions then you can make a plan for change. What I like about change is there really is no time limit on it unless it is life threatening for your health or life threatening towards yourself or others. So, you can make a decision today that you want to change your negative attitude. You identify where and why you have a negative attitude. You decide what it is you can change personally. If you feel someone in your life is creating your negative attitude you can’t change them. You can only change how you react and respond to them. You then develop a plan for how to be positive.
Just knowing that we are not responsible for others attitude can be freeing and we can already feel a shift of positivity. That burden of responsibility can be debilitating thus the negative attitude. With change comes facing your fears. Most people do not like conflict, so going along with the flow is much easier. Yet they are not happy. So, change is about YOU. What is it that YOU want for your life today, tomorrow and the near future? What will be required of you to make that change happen.
Commitment, Trust, Patience, Acceptance, Forgiveness, Understanding, Support, Encouragement, Discipline, Compromise and Love for yourself. These are some of the requirements for change. As I often say keep it simple and manageable for you. You are worth the change!!

Susan V. Brewer

Susan V. Brewer is a Certified Life Coach and Psychotherapist in the Upper Bucks County Area.  She graduated in 1987 from Kutztown University with a BS in Criminal Justice and Sociology. She became a Certified Life & Career Coach in June of 2006 and a Certified Relationship Coach in December of 2016. She specializes in adoption, codependency, relationship issues, substance abuse, self-esteem and life transitions. Her belief is “that all persons are truly greater than they think they are.”

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.