Progress Not Perfection
Often when I am working with my clients they have a tendency to compare themselves to others and question whether or not they measure up. You may ask “measure up to what?” Sometimes people think that they are not enough, good enough, smart enough, thin enough, pretty enough…..So when they are in the presence of others they will look at themselves in comparison to others and criticize and judge themselves against others whom they see as their competition. This sense of not measuring up usually is a conditioning response to some unmet need or comment that someone made to them that at times “haunts” and “paralyzes” them.
By always or sometimes placing such harsh judgments and criticisms they often set themselves up to fail which leads to low self-confidence. While it can be helpful to compare ourselves to others to see if we are living our life as we see fit which works for us; it can be extremely harmful if you become consumed by it and define yourself by how you think others see you. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and once we embrace it and accept ourselves for it we will have the balance that we are seeking in our lives
Progress not Perfection is phrase used a lot in recovery so that clients can understand that things take time to change especially when it comes to attitudes and behaviors and dynamics and patterns. Most people do not realize that when you have a different thought or perception about a problem or a solution that that is change or progress. Some of us search or want perfection because we want to feel better soon or have a better outcome quicker. Yet we can set ourselves up for failure when we do not allow ourselves to progress at our own pace and that perfection is not real or attainable.
Often what we do is not enough. We usually want more or want something else to be different, instead of just accepting that we are where we are supposed to be at and that knowing that is progress and growth. Progress gives us permission to breathe a little better and to be less critical of ourselves. Perfection is a myth and will only leave us feeling less than rather than really good about ourselves. All of us want to feel good about ourselves without all the pressures. So it is; “PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION”.