“Relationships!!”

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“Relationships!!”

Posted by Susan V. Brewer in Balance 25 Mar 2020

I am feeling nothing but gratitude for the month of March. It was ten years ago that I was blessed and met my daughter who I had given up for adoption when I was sixteen years old. It doesn’t even seem possible to me that she and I met 10 years ago and that we are still very close to one another. The only down side is that she lives in Florida with her husband and my three grandchildren and I am here in PA.
I visit her at least 2-3 times a year and cherish every moment and day I have with her, her family and her mother. I will be flying out on our 10-year anniversary this year to celebrate with her and the family. All of us are very excited and feel nothing but blessed to be in each other’s lives.
Whenever I think about other stressors in my life all I have to do is think about Lauren. In that moment I am calm and grateful. Sometimes we can get so bogged down by the things in our lives that aren’t going as well as we would like and we forget about all the things in our lives that are good.
That is why I am never surprised by the people who show up in my life. I am a true believer that we attract people in our life that give us what we need “good” or “bad”. Every encounter becomes an opportunity for us to learn about ourselves and understand what it is that we need in our relationships with others.
We learn how to set limits and boundaries and to ask for what we want. We also can decide who we don’t want in our life because of how they are as people and how they make us feel not so good about ourselves.
That is why I believe that every negative encounter can be a positive one if we are able to see the lessons, we can learn from them. In most cases it really has no weight or value to who we are because we know the truth about who we are. But that is how powerful others opinions of us can be to our self-worth; however, it allows an opportunity to assess ourselves and our relationships and understand their validity and importance in our lives.
Relationships can be simple or complicated for us on any given day. However, if we view all of them as let’s say worthwhile it provides for us a new way of having a connection with someone. Too often we miss what is happening in our life and the things that matter because we are running around so much with all these responsibilities that we forget the people in our life that have meaning to us.
So many of my clients will tell me that it has been forever since they have seen their friends or loved ones. When I ask why it is always, I just don’t have time or any number of excuses. I say excuses because sometimes I think we look for them in order to not connect with others. As much as we want to spend time with others, we don’t make the time.
I think this may have more to do with our level of comfort with ourselves and our life and that it is easier to just keep doing what we’re doing rather than getting out of our own comfort zone and being with the people in our lives that make us laugh and feel good about ourselves.
How many times do I say that life is too short and how many times do you actually hear others saying it? A lot… it is imperative that we bring joy in our life as much as we can and be with people who make us shine….and even if we run into someone who puts a damper on our mood we can quickly change that around and say (not literally, out loud to yourself) “thank you for showing up!!”
So be present with others, smile, laugh and by all means enjoy and learn from all your encounters with others!!! My belief is that “All persons are truly greater than they think they are.”

Susan V. Brewer

Susan V. Brewer is a Certified Life Coach and Psychotherapist in the Upper Bucks County Area.  She graduated in 1987 from Kutztown University with a BS in Criminal Justice and Sociology. She became a Certified Life & Career Coach in June of 2006 and a Certified Relationship Coach in December of 2016. She specializes in adoption, codependency, relationship issues, substance abuse, self-esteem and life transitions. Her belief is “that all persons are truly greater than they think they are.”

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