What is Self-Care?
Hmmmmm…. where do we begin? Some of us have been so accustomed to taking care of others that we do not even know what self-care means. It means that you put yourself and your needs first when it comes to making a decision in your life. Before saying “YES” and “Of Course I Can…”think about do I want to do this? Is this in my best interest? Why am I doing this? Is this true to me? Am I looking for recognition or validation? Is it out of guilt? Is it because it is what I always do? Am I afraid that they won’t like me? Am I avoiding a confrontation? What I have learned is that we often put others needs over our own because we feel obligated to them. We are fearful of their rejection or criticism. We are overly concerned about what others are going to think of us. Yet what we don’t realize is that in the end we are really what matters. Our wants and needs are just as important. There are times when we help and support because it is the right thing to do even when we may not really want to do it. That is different than putting others first and taking care of their responsibilities and their feelings.
It takes time to master this skill of self-care. But if you ask for help and you stop for a brief moment and ask yourself is this what I want to be doing? How does this benefit me? You will find yourself saying “NO” more often and feeling better about yourself. Hopefully you will do things with your time that are important to you. I have said this before more often than not we are the ones that get in our own way. Lack of self-care comes from a place of low self-worth for some and for others it is has been a way of conditioning for so many years that we don’t even know the difference. All we know or have been taught is to take care of ourselves would be selfish, that others needs are more important than our own. This is not true. It is all about finding the balance and knowing the truth. What I mean by this is that all of us know the truth about what we want and what is really in our best interest. The trick and difficulty comes in when we have to set the boundary and follow through with taking care of ourselves knowing what the consequences and repercussions could be from others. It takes a lot of courage to ask for what we need, to set boundaries and to especially stand in our own truth.
Some of us were never taught how to take care of ourselves. We learned from our peers, family and environment that we grew up in how to self-care or not to self-care. The journey can be simple…. Just by asking ourselves what we want and knowing that we matter just as much as others but MORE sometimes. So be well. Be First in your life.