Walk A Mile In Someone Else’s Shoes
Relationships are something I personally struggle with on a daily basis. Maybe because I go above and beyond necessary standards to perform the phrase “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes”. My parents brought me up on that phrase and without realizing it, almost every day I find myself judging a situation and catching myself at how judgmental I am.
We can all be judgmental at times, but I find it helps the most to take a step back when it comes to working on our relationships with others and be open instead of judgmental. I have a friend that I have known for years and she knows everything about me. We went to school together and share the same friends. But over the past few years things started to change; I went to college and moved in with my boyfriend and she chose to stay at home and go to community college. Nothing wrong with that. But I found that we fought a lot more often. Over time. Over boyfriends. I couldn’t figure out why and I pulled myself away from her.
But looking back now, I was being judgmental without realizing it. Right now, with an open mind, I can see that those fights we had were because she couldn’t understand where I was at in my life and I couldn’t understand where she was at either. I would get upset with her for not being able to understand, and she got upset with me, too.
But think about it this way. It’s your first day in French class. The teacher comes up to you speaking fluent French and you have no idea what she is talking about. The teacher is trying to reason with you. She has her sympathetic face on and her hand motions gesturing here and there, hoping she can communicate to you what she wants you to do. Does that make you understand what she is saying? No. You’re just not there yet in the class. But that doesn’t mean you won’t get there.
The same goes for my relationship with my friend. It was impossible for me to expect something unrealistic from her. How was she supposed to understand my life choices and my situations if she herself was not there yet? And how could she expect me to understand how she lives if I wasn’t living her life and her choices?
I think this is a great example of how we all need to evaluate the relationships we are having with everyone, big and small. Are we expecting too much from someone? Not enough? Are we expecting that new friend at work to help out with a big project? I always tell myself “you can’t expect others to act the same way you would”. Meaning just because you like getting your hands dirty at work and would LOVE to help out with that big project doesn’t mean everyone else thinks the same. Make sure you have the right respect and expectations for all your relationships in life. I do believe if you are fair and understanding, karma makes full circle right back to you. It’s all about the work you put out there and the positive energy you show to the people around you.