“What Really Matters?”


“What Really Matters?”

Posted by Susan V. Brewer in Anxiety, Balance, Codependency, Fear, Feelings, Goal-Setting, Gratitude, Recovery, Relationships, Self-Care 23 Jul 2018

Sometimes our lives take a turn and we don’t know which way to go or what to do. We think about the situation and try to figure out what really matters. What does all of this mean. Some people are very black and white and can make a decision rather quickly. In that moment it makes sense to them they are clear about what matters. However, there are some of us who focus a great deal on how others will be impacted about a situation or a decision. We think about what matters to us and can say okay this is how I would handle it but then the other person may not think that way.

Sometimes we also have a difficult time because we may have some unresolved feelings about a specific situation and it can be uncomfortable to do what really matters to us. And for some of us it may mean not doing anything. You might be thinking how that could be a good thing. Because if what matters to us is feeling safe and comfortable then confronting a situation isn’t going to happen. It can be very tricky to be true to ourselves and do what really matters.

Life is not always easy. Some of us want to be on a journey and some of us just want to get by. Taking risks and asking for what we need is not easy. It takes a lot of courage and strength to get out of your comfort zone. To truly face what you fear, what you want, what you desire, what else may be out there can be unsettling, uncomfortable and down right “scary”. This is why I always talk about the importance of being true to yourself and that you know yourself better than anybody knows you.

Because when you are in a situation that requires you to make a decision you can look at it from many different perspectives and in the end make a decision because you do know what is best for you and what really matters. Others opinions of us should not matter but all too often we take them into consideration and may make decisions that are not in our best interest.

I do know that if we stay stuck and don’t move through painful events or feelings we will not become everything that we can be. But that is a very personal decision. Only we can answer that for ourselves. Just because you may not want to look at things in your life or make changes doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. I am not judging or criticizing you. That is why the topic of what really matters is very personal. We are all different in our personalities, values and morals. So what matters to one of us is not going to matter to someone else.

All too often my clients feel they are at a crossroads in their life so when they ask themselves certain questions it helps them to choose the road they want to go on. If you read my articles pretty regularly then you know that I am a big advocate for asking ourselves questions. So, if you are facing a dilemma or a decision in your life think about the things that matter to you from every angle and you will be able to move forward with your life. Regardless of how painful or joyful the decision of what matters will be. It goes back to “You know the truth!”

Susan V. Brewer

Susan V. Brewer is a Certified Life Coach and Psychotherapist in the Upper Bucks County Area.  She graduated in 1987 from Kutztown University with a BS in Criminal Justice and Sociology. She became a Certified Life & Career Coach in June of 2006 and a Certified Relationship Coach in December of 2016. She specializes in adoption, codependency, relationship issues, substance abuse, self-esteem and life transitions. Her belief is “that all persons are truly greater than they think they are.”

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