“What is My Truth?”

Stress_Anxiety

“What is My Truth?”

Posted by Susan V. Brewer in Balance, Coaching, Codependency, Coping Skills, Fear, Feelings, Goal-Setting, Gratitude, Relationships, Self-Care 20 Jan 2018

When working with my clients they often struggle with separating what they believe is the truth vs what others tell them is the truth. This creates a sense of disconnection and fear. How can I not know the truth or believe in myself enough to know I know the truth!! Why do I let others tell me influence me so much that I no longer trust in myself and my decisions?
The answer to that lies in our self-worth and knowing who we are. Unfortunately, a lot of people struggle with their self esteem and even knowing what that means. Self esteem is how we feel about ourselves and when we feel good about ourselves we know the truth. The trick is to learn how to detach from others opinions of us. HA! Really this is not easy especially if you are someone who takes things personally.
What I mean by this is that you react in a very negative way and feel offended by someone else’s opinion or comment. You take it to heart and believe that they know the truth about you. When in reality you know yourself better than anyone. However, when you have low self-esteem you don’t know the truth about yourself because you do not have a high opinion of yourself. You are often critical of yourself and are conflicted about your beliefs.
So, the question becomes what do I need to do to know my truth? How do I trust myself? Last month when I talked about goals I asked that you look at them differently as far as outside of the box “what the norm is”. So, these are questions that can be the goals you work on this year. And you do that by asking yourself questions like What do I like about myself? What do I dislike about myself? Am I a good person? What are my character defects that get me in trouble?
The goal is to be as specific as possible about your likes, dislikes, character defects ect… whatever it is that you want to change about yourself. The more you know about yourself, the more you understand who you are, the more you find your way, the more you get honest the closer you become to knowing the truth about yourself. This can be an exciting challenge and so freeing because when someone says something to you that you do not like your initial reaction might be hmmmm… do they know something that I don’t know but the next thought will be No I know what is going on, I am good!!
Truth be told we are all capable of changing and we do not need to let others define who we are because the truth is we know who we are, we just have to get out of our own way and accept who we are good bad indifferent. None of us are perfect we are all human. Sometimes the truth about ourselves is not kind but if we want to change it we can. We do not need to be afraid to want more for ourselves or to feel better about our life. Sometimes the truth about ourselves is that we care too much but we may need to work on that because if others needs become more important than our needs we pay a price. The price can affect our self-esteem because often we will feel that we are not enough or do enough.
So, get to know yourself better and stand in your truth. Trust me you will feel so much better about yourself and your life.

Susan V. Brewer

Susan V. Brewer is a Certified Life Coach and Psychotherapist in the Upper Bucks County Area.  She graduated in 1987 from Kutztown University with a BS in Criminal Justice and Sociology. She became a Certified Life & Career Coach in June of 2006 and a Certified Relationship Coach in December of 2016. She specializes in adoption, codependency, relationship issues, substance abuse, self-esteem and life transitions. Her belief is “that all persons are truly greater than they think they are.”

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